‘It’s not going down and it’s not going away,’ victim services founder says of abuse

Bradford is officially recognizing violence against women and intimate partner violence as an epidemic in Ontario.

During the regular meeting of council on Oct. 17, council voted to make the declaration at the request of the Tec-We-Gwill Women’s Institute, which included calling on the provincial government to make the elimination/reduction of that type of violence an immediate priority. Council also asked the province to move forward to enact the recommendations of the June 2022 Renfrew County coroner’s inquest to effectively curtail that type of violence.

The institute sent their request in a letter to council in which they noted the inquest into the 2015 deaths of three women at the hands of one man in Renfrew  contained 86 recommendations to deal with the issue of intimate partner violence. The very first recommendation was to declare the issue an epidemic.

Ward 2 Coun. Jonathan Scott supported the motion and emphasized the importance of recognizing the public health dynamics of intimate partner violence and for the town and council to continue advocacy work on the issue.

“This is another way our council can demonstrate we recognize that feminist policy is actually good public policy,” he said.

Since founding Victim Services Simcoe County almost 28 years ago, Marie McCallum, executive director, has seen an increase in domestic violence every year.

“It’s not going down and it’s not going away,” she said.

From April 1, 2022, to March 31, 2023, the service saw 1,503 new clients, of which almost one third, 473, were victims of intimate partner violence, an increase from 389 the year prior.

In making the declaration, McCallum hopes council will be able to shine a light on the issue as the first step toward change.

“This is happening, and it’s happening right in your community in Bradford. It’s not this mythical thing that is happening to somebody else somewhere else. It is real and it needs attention, because people are at risk,” she said, noting that intimate partner violence has existed for centuries.

The service has helped victims young and old who may have suffered violence from a partner for the first time, or may have been enduring it for years.

“We see people who have experienced the full gamut of violence,” McCallum said. “No violence is acceptable.”

While some people may not report their abuse because they don’t consider themselves victims, others fear that they won’t be believed, which can lead them to hide their abuse or explain away their injuries — such as a broken nose, broken arm or missing teeth — by making excuses, such as saying they fell down the stairs.

“I’ve supported people who’ve been living in violent relationships for more than 40 years, but there are all kinds of reasons why they’re not in a position to leave that relationship,” McCallum said.

A frequent factor she sees is abusers removing victims’ support networks by isolating them from friends and family, but other reasons a victim might not report or leave their abuser include: financial dependency, emotional dependency, a belief and desire to change their abuser, having children together, having pets together and more.

“Over the years I’ve been asked, 'why don’t they leave?' Well, they get controlled through fear. There’s a really big power imbalance between the abuser and the victim,” McCallum said. “It’s total control.”

That can include limiting when a victim can speak to others, when they can leave the house, what they can wear, being deprived of their personal possession, being degraded, and being denied affection or intimacy.

Not only can it be difficult for victims to make preparations to leave while hiding those plans from their abuser, but McCallum explained that even if they do go, they may not have the means to support themselves, or their children, potentially leaving them homeless. Even if victims are able to support themselves after leaving, the abuser might still come after them.

“Whether it’s violence against women or violence against men in an intimate partner relationship, it’s a relationship that’s not very healthy,” McCallum said.

She hopes victims will understand that what is happening to them is a crime and recommends they call the police, but if they don’t feel they can do that, they could call other agencies like victim services, shelters or 211 to get more information about what services are available.

While short-term shelters offer a safe space and temporary accommodations for victims and sometimes children, some also connect victims to counselling and transitional workers who can help find long-term housing solutions.

There are even some services that will help care for animals while victims are escaping their abuser.

Victim Services Simcoe County provides immediate emotional support and practical help to victims, but they are also able to connect people with the other services in the community as well, McCallum said.

“Everybody is unique in how they respond to the violence and what they think they might need,” she said.

Anyone looking for help can contact Victim Services by phone at 705-725-7025, ext. 2120, Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., or 1-866-923-3938 after hours, or by email at [email protected].

The town is planning a flag raising ceremony to recognize the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and to recognize November as Woman Abuse Prevention Month in the courtyard of the Bradford West Gwillimbury Court House at 57 Holland St. E. on Nov. 21 at 10 a.m.