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COLUMN: As AI enters dating scene, be sure to keep it real

This week, columnist delves into the world of artificial intelligence as it relates to relationships
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Remember the old days of dating?

I mean way back when when you actually met another person, in the wild, struck up a conversation and got to know each other while going out in public to dinner, movies or to a sporting event?

The closest I got to trying to create the perfect companion was filling out a romance questionnaire in Seventeen magazine.

1. What’s your favourite way to spend a Sunday?

2. Favourite food, book, movie, genre of music?

3. Describe your perfect relationship.

Now, there is a way to create an object of your desire by way of technology. This is a thing and it's creepy.

We are hearing all the time now about artificial intelligence (AI) and what it is changing in our world.

A decade ago there was a Joaquin Phoenix movie called Her about a guy who fell in love with his AI girlfriend. At the time, this was incomprehensible. Now, it’s a actual happening.

The slogan for AI girlfriend app Eva AI is “control a virtual artificial intelligence partner who listens, responds and appreciates you.”

Just that alone should give us pause.

According to 2023 Pew Research findings, about half of adults under 30 have used a dating app, but nearly half of those users considered the experience to be negative.

Guardian.com suggests “the apps are uncharted territory for humanity, and some are concerned they might teach poor behaviour in users and create unrealistic expectations for human relationships.”

Gee, you think? This sounds like a whole lot of messed up.

It seems similar to phoney, filtered pictures on the web that no actual person can ever live up to.

Imagine how hard, if not impossible, it would be if you had created an avatar with a perfectly compatible personality to your own? You can even choose his or her voice.

You interact with this person you have created and the discussions, answers and reactions are all exactly as you want them to be.

What happens if you blur fantasy with reality?

What occurs when you form an actual bond with AI girlfriend or boyfriend?

Researchers suggest that young men are more likely to try these apps out. They are also less likely to be socially outgoing in the real world.

Dealing with real people is definitely more difficult, frustrating and time-intensive.

It's also way healthier.

Some of these apps are free to start. If you are interested in anything beyond chit-chat, it’s going to cost a monthly fee.

I can’t even imagine what that entails, nor do I want to.

On one level, this all just seems unusual.

On a much deeper level, what could it mean for actual interpersonal relationships?

This has got Netflix and Lifetime movies written all over it!

It is actually really sad that people could be so lonely and isolated to turn to this. I assume it would also be something that users don’t openly talk about and that could also be problematic.

Real relationships require courage. They can be emotional and messy. There are ups and downs. They are also what make life worth living.

I’m afraid of what could be waiting for some at the end of this AI journey.

Keep it real.


About the Author: Wendy King

Wendy King writes about all kinds of things from nutrition to the job search from cats to clowns — anything and everything — from the ridiculous to the sublime. Watch for Wendy's column weekly.
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